Chapter 13, part 1: Relentless Rain

The dream.

August 8 - August 12, 1942.

Summary:

Willi Graf hears about the “really bad” air raid in Saarbrücken. He cannot think of anything else. He has not received mail from his parents in a very long time.

The weather turns miserable, raining, leaving muck and mud. Nevertheless, Hans Scholl sets out on long walks, perhaps emboldened by his younger brother’s seeming fearlessness. He talks to other soldiers about the war in their sector. He hears rumors that partisans are the reason behind the heavy fighting, and Soviet victories.

Alexander Schmorell is simply happy to be “home” in Russia. He writes Lilo Berndl, telling her about his beautiful, glorious Russia. Even a lonely birch tree inspires him, reminding him of the Russian soul.

“Everything strong is weak, everything weak, strong.” That has long been Schurik’s mantra. On the great plains of Russia, it makes even more sense to him. He sees the suffering of the Russian people and knows it has not been for nothing.

Back in Ulm, Sophie rips a page out of her notebook, just because it is about Alex. She is immediately remorseful and puts it back. She prays that God will show her Alex’s place in her heart.

Sophie is now deeply enmeshed in apocalyptic theology. Someone has recently told her that things happening in their era are omens, portending the end of the world. They have also told her that it’s so bad, God is in danger of no longer existing.

Sophie chews on these ideas, thinking about death. She is convinced that if she were to die - whether due to apocalypse or man-made bomb - God will find her guilty. But she rejects the notion that God can be destroyed and decides that mankind is in danger of extinction due to the vile atrocities being committed.

She also records a “curious dream” in her diary. She is walking with Hans and Schurik, they lifting her up so she soars. Hans tells her that he knows how he can prove that God exists and is at work. He says that humans need a certain amount of air to breathe, and that when the air becomes too stale because of humans, God will periodically inject his breath and renew the air. Hans then exhales his breath into their murky world and the skies turn blue. Sophie writes, “It was beautiful.”

Willi and Hans walk over to Gzhatsk to visit Werner Scholl. They enjoy the evening stroll.

The next day, the fighting near Ržev (where Werner is stationed) becomes intense. Hubert and Willi note that they now have quite a lot of work.

Willi still finds time to read. But even a good book cannot distract him from thinking about his family in Saarbrücken. He does not know whether they are even alive. He sends them a telegram, asking how they are doing. A stranger from his hometown tells him that he has received mail and news. That only heightens Willi’s fears.

After two days with no reply, Willi decides it must be ghastly in Saarbrücken. He finds it torture to sit and wait for a response to his telegram, thinking about the reasons for the silence.

Why this matters:

• Please read and understand the part about Sophie ripping the Alex-page from her notebook as evidence that these were normal young people. I feel quite certain that every one of us over the age of sixteen has had a mad crush on someone, and it’s been unrequited love. It’s difficult for the person loving, it’s difficult for the person who’s loved.
  This very humanness should not be overlooked in this beautiful true story. They all could be petty, annoyed with one another, mixed up, confused, gullible to fearmongers, all those emotions we experience once hormones start raging.
  And we can still do noble, amazing, wonderful things.

• Alex’s mantra — “everything strong is weak, everything weak, strong” — resurfaces again and again over the next few months. Lilo said his firm belief in the strength found in weakness informed his resistance work, informed the people he associated with, informed his worldview.
  Keep this in mind. It’s another golden thread.

Talk about this! When have your feelings for someone helped or hindered your work on behalf of social justice? Did you address it point blank, or just hope it would go away?

What do you make of Alex’s mantra? Can you identify with it?

White Rose History, Volume II, pages 158-160.

Notes and references available only to paid subscribers.